On Vacation


“This time,” my wife told me, “we are going to behave ourselves.”

She was talking about our camping trip.

“On the road, we are going to get up early, not dawdle and eat healthy.”

I nodded in agreement. I mean who could disagree – but agreement is perfectly compatible with harboring doubts. We always tell ourselves we will behave ourselves, only to have ourselves tell us something different.

Who knows? Maybe this time it will be different, because this time it is different. My wife retired last Tuesday, and she is now on vacation for the rest of her life.

I have been on vacation for the last five years, and have not behaved myself at all. Who knows? Maybe she can be different.

So we got up early – then began to dawdle. We wanted to be on the road by 9:00 am, but then there were flowers to move to her mother’s and an errand to run – and of course, we couldn’t find that thing we wanted to bring along.

But we did get on the road.

At the first gas stop, I fueled the camper while she went inside. She didn’t dawdle and within minutes we were on the road again.

A few miles down the road…

“Uh….” I asked, “what are you doing?”

She had her purse on her lap and was sneaking snacks out of it.

“None of your business.”

“C’mon, fess up. It’s not like I am blind.”

“If you must know, peanut butter M&M’s.”

She knows I hate peanut butter.

“Let’s see.”

She showed me the bag.

“You bought the shareable size, but you knew you were not going to share. I thought we were going to eat healthy.”

“That’s why I said, none of your business.”

We drove on. In time, we passed the Mason-Dixon Line.

“OMG,” I shouted, “WAFFLE HOUSE!! I love Waffle House. Pull in, I am getting pecan waffles.”

“Not going to do it,” she said, “you wanted to eat healthy, so you’re going to eat healthy. I know you, you will order a side of sausage, grits and hash-browns and then you will complain that your stomach hurts.”

“You had your M&M’s; I want my Waffle House.”

“Wait a minute…..”



“You’re kidding. What do we need there?”

“Trays to organize our stuff.”

“If you go in there, you will dawdle for hours.”



“We got all the time in the world. We are on vacation.”

**Note: since we are on vacation, my posting and commenting will be light. We are planning to be home in early June… maybe.

Here are some photos.