My muse arrived late.
We had a writing session scheduled for 7:00 a.m. sharp but she didn’t wander in until well after noon.
Then she just flopped on the couch and sulked.
“What gives?” I asked her.
“Don’t start in on me,” she snapped.
I hate it when she gets in a mood. Usually, she is not like that. We mostly have fun together – but when things do not go well for her, she takes it out on our writing.
“Let’s begin,” I said, then suggested a topic. “How about making today a ‘Stan’ day?”
She frowned.
“How about a ‘My Wife’ day instead? We always have fun with that.”
Her frown only deepened.
“Or we could write about ‘My Stuff’?”
“Why don’t we write about my issues instead?” she said.
“Sure.”
“I am not into writing today.”
“Okay…..”
“WRITE THAT DOWN.”
Muse is not feeling like musing.
“What give you the right to tell me how I feel?”
Muse has a lousy attitude today.
“Hey, I come in here day after day to give you material, no matter how I feel, and all you do is sit like a lump on a log and jot it all down. Maybe for once, I could have a bad day. Did you ever consider that?”
“Sure.”
“THEN WRITE IT DOWN.”
Muse having bad day.
“So what’s bothering you?”’
“MEN.”
“Anyone in particular?”
“Yes.”
“Who.”
“Each and every one of them.”
My muse hasn’t been the same since she broke up with the love of her life, Discipline, (who is also D. Wallace Peach’s muse).
She took the breakup hard, but she fell in with Creativity on the rebound.. For awhile there, the prose bubbled wildly from a well of infatuation – until Creativity went chasing after…
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“I’m writing about you.”
“Who told you to do that?”
“You did, you said you wanted me to write about your issues.”
“You idiot, this is a fiction blog, you are supposed to write about me by not writing about ME.”
“Okay….”
My muse arrived at 7:00 a.m. sharp, brimming with enthusiasm.
“Now we are getting somewhere.”
Almost Iowa 
I’m not even sure I have a muse. Maybe it’s because I have a laze ‘creativity’. I have more than my share of stubbornness though.
Sometimes, I am not sure I have a muse too. 🙂
I’d take creativity over discipline, too. Great post!
Creativity is for starting, discipline is for finishing.
Yes! 🙂
This made me think. Too much work this early. I need more coffee. 🙂
Coffee is good. No, belay that, coffee is essential.
Now I know why some days I have such a hard time coming up with the subject of my blog post! Clearly, my muse is not in the mood…. Glad you and yours worked it out!
Muses are fickle creatures. Sometime the topics and the words flow in torrents, other times, it is like Death Valley.
Muse: Did you just say I was fickle?
Oops, I gotta go.
Sooo funny. See what happens? When we can’t come up with something to write, we just write about our muses. Thanks for the link, Greg, and the laugh. I needed it today. Happy Writing!
You got to go with the flow. 🙂
I took a vacation to England. Not sure where my muse decided to go. Just hoping she gets back without too many flight delays.
There is something about England, Scotland and Ireland that attracts muses. I found the writing there to be almost effortless.
I find she’s an elusive witch these days. I must have pissed her off.
A pail of chocolate chip ice cream bring her back and mend all wounds.
You can schedule a session with your muse? Obviously, the schedule doesn’t count for much, since she was five hours late, but still… You’d better watch it. There are rumors Muses are becoming less amused by our expectations, and are thinking of unionizing.
No kidding, and the trend is brutal on humor writers.
I signed my muse up for match.com and haven’t seen him since. Maybe I should make up with him. I doubt the internet match up is going to last….
I can almost see his puffed up profile:
– CEO of (one person company)
– Inspiration and Motivation provider to countless Twitter users.
– ….
Ooooh yes, my muse has certainly had these days before! Sometimes I just have to give her some time off I guess! 🙂 (Although I think my muse might be a dude.)
So is Diane’s. One of the funniest things I have read in a very long time. See Muse for hire
Haha! My goodness, the similarities between her muse and mine are shocking
Muses can be finicky. I dislike it the most when mine gives me a blank stare. It almost guarantees writer’s block. –Curt
Muse: You are going to have writer’s block today.
Me: Rats.
Muse: WRITE THAT DOWN!!
🙂 One word can break the block at times. Now, just picture lots of rats wth beady eyes and share teeth. Throw in a little bubonic plague and you are off and running!
You can always give her some chocolates?
But can I afford her insatiable appetite?
Lol, is she like a professional eater of dreams and chocolate? Perhaps she should enter some contests and buy her own food!
The muse artist relationship is a lot like that of any other professional. There is an ethical vow of silence except for those items released to the press secretary by both parties. And the muse as said title implies reserves the right to withdraw said items from release as the mood requires. This also covers a muse sing events… and mime time too…
You have a point there. Signing on with a muse entails a prodigious amount of paperwork.
Good one this morning, 😊. We are in Iowa heading to Minneapolis this morning will give you a wave just after we cross the state line👋
As you approach the Hollandale exit, look to the east for the cloud of mosquitoes hovering over the Minnesota State Mosquito Refuge. That’s us. 🙂
Will do, this time of year I know I won’t miss it 🦟🦟🦟
Good thing you didn’t mention anything about, possibly, a bad hair day….
I don’t like to talk about bad hair days. [shudder]
At least you have a Muse. Mine went out to steal a smoke weeks ago, and hasn’t come back.
My muse kicked the nicotine habit years ago, but when she steps out and fails to return, I check the garage and find her head buried in the bucket of chocolate chip ice cream that we keep out there in the freezer.
You named your muse? Aren’t you clever. I’ve never thought to do that– and I’m the woman who names her computers and phones and other machines. Clearly my muse deserves a name, too.
I call her ‘muse’. 🙂
This is why men stink at maintaining relationships
It’s a riddle. I have been best buddies with Stan for sixty years, despite his dishonest, unreliable, treacherous and lazy nature, yet I have trouble getting along with an honest, reliable, loyal and hardworking spouse. So what gives?
[Muse: the answer to that one is obvious]
Stan can’t disappoint you.
I’m glad I don’t have a muse. They sound like a lot of trouble…
They are loads of trouble – but then they can be a lot of fun too. 🙂
hahah . That was brilliant!
Muse: Thanks.
Greg: Hey, why are you taking all the credit?
Muse: I stand corrected, Greg helped with the typing.