It never fails.
You promised to cook dinner and now you are running late, really late.
As you rush to pack up your laptop and hurry out the door, you discover that Microsoft has something else in mind.
Yet another update.
“Please Do Not Power Off or Unplug Your Machine,” your computer tells you.
What it does not say is “Or Else” but that is implied.
If you force a shutdown, all of the things you should have backed up will be lost and all the software that you should have kept track of will have to be repurchased and all the music and films that you pirated…
Well, there is that.
Turning off your machine is not an option – but you tell yourself it will not take long. It is just a windows update.
So you wait.
After a long pause, the screen reads, Update 1 of 11.
Not so bad….. only 11 updates.
By update #2, you have missed dinner.
By update #3, the yogurt in your refrigerator has expired.
By update #4, your driver’s license renewal is past due.
By update #5, your children retire.
By update #6, the national debt is paid-off.
By update #7, the Second Coming has come and gone.
By update #8, the Third Coming is long forgotten.
By update #9, a new geological age has arrived.
By update #10, the planets have spent their orbits and crashed one after the other into the sun.
By update #11, an astronomer on a lonely planet in a distant galaxy peers across the universe to observe the death of the Milky-Way. He opens his laptop to inform his wife that he fully intends to cook dinner like he promised but Windows has seized his machine and the screen reads:
“Please Do Not Power Off or Unplug Your Machine”
Almost Iowa 
Nothing a little Linux can’t help with.
That’s a perfect description of the frustrations of dealing with a computer. When did we become so completely beholden to our technology???
Beholden? he asks…..after sitting in front of a laptop all Sunday morning. 🙂 🙂
Ha ha! Another great post!
Maybe that’s the reason I haven’t hit that “update to Windows 11” button yet. I’m old enough as is.
I did quite a while ago and found it to run a whole lot smoother. HOWEVER, that depends on your hardware. Been spending a lot of time with Linux though.
Actually, Windows 11 has a Linux option, you can run it as a window, very cool.
Just back away from the machine…slowly. It won’t bite. Promise. Go eat dinner, Greg.😆
After being around Stan and his machines, I am not too sure about that biting thing.
My laptop does seem to know the worst time to process that update. Thanks for a nice laugh.
All laptops know that. It is part of their design.
Nice post
Thanks
First, I recognized the phenomenon, and then I was perplexed, since I couldn’t remember the last time I got one of those update messages. Finally, I realized I never turn my PC off, and have updates scheduled for the middle of the night. So far, so good. With the iPad and iPhone, I don’t allow auto updating. If they ask politely, I’ll take care of it for them — but at my convenience.
I always turn the sucker off. It cannot talk to me that way.
I’m with Judy…
Next tackle what to do when Facebook doesn’t like your cellphone anymore. You could at least make it funny!
😂😂😂😂 Totally relatable!
My favorite is the spinning icon. By all appearances, it’s making progress -but it really isn’t. It just keeps spinning and spinning.
It is kinda mesmerizing, isn’t it?
😀 I’m also sure they’ve done psychological studies to make it.
Oh pish posh, turn your machine on and off when you want! Everything will happen in life regardless of what you do with it. 😉
That is what a nice HelpDesk lady once told me.
Not bad advice.
Ha, so true! You could work this almost verbatim into a standup comedy routine. 😁
It does kinda flow. 🙂
On the plus side, with a new geological age he can finally get that pet velociraptor he’d been wanting.
I dunno, trying to train a velociraptor to use the Kitty Box is always a challenge.
And imagine having to clean its litterbox!
That sounds like as good an excuse as any to not cook dinner. 🙂
And it worked!!!