My Conversation With Stan

My Buddy Stan called.

Given the late hour, I didn’t beat around the bush. “What do you want?”

“Who says I want anything​?”

“You wouldn’t call if you didn’t want something.”

“Maybe I just wanted to talk.”

“About what?”

“Why does it have to be about something? Maybe it’s just about talking.”

“Okay then, talk.”





“Uh, Stan?”


“If you want to talk, talk.”

“But that’s not talking. That’s just me talking.”

“You mean you want to converse?”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

“Okay then, converse.”

“No, you got to do it too or it is just me talking.”

“But Stan, what do you think we are doing now?”


“That’s right, we’re talking.”

As he hung up, I heard him yell across the house. “Okay Daphne, you said I had to talk to Greg and I did. Now are you happy?”


A few minute later, Daphne called.

“Thanks for talking to him, Greg, it really helps.”

“But we didn’t say anything,” I protested.

“You don’t really have to say anything to talk.”




Author: Almost Iowa

36 thoughts on “My Conversation With Stan”

  1. Sounds like the phone call I get every now and then from my out-of-town sister. I answer the phone, she says, “Hey, this is Lea!” and from that moment on, the conversation is entirely in my court. And God forbid I shouldn’t especially feel like talking…..

  2. The further one goes into the boonies, the more guys are happy just to stand in a circle after Church and say nuttin’ ! Start chatting and they know you’re from town! At least, that’s my experience!

      1. ‘reality into Stanspeak’–that is such a great phrase. And explains so much. Your posts are such a riot. Thanks for the laughs, Greg.

    1. Whenever I get together with family for the holidays, I reflect on Robert Frost’s The Death of the Hired Man

      “Home is the place where, when you have to go there,
      They have to take you in.”

  3. Hahah!!! Poor Stan. He has more issues than he can handle. Maybe you should get him one of those creepy talking dolls. He could converse with it ’til the cows come home! Lol.

    Love the phone. Takes me back to childhood, and that’s a long trip. You and Judy (NewEnglandGardenandThread) are on the same wave length today. I got a real kick out of this post. —-Ginger—-

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