On Vacation

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“This time,” my wife told me, “we will behave ourselves.”

She was talking about our camping trip.

“On the road, we will get up early, eat healthy and not dawdle.”

I nodded in agreement, because how could I disagree?Β  But agreement is perfectly compatible with harboring doubts. We always tell ourselves we will behave, at least until the first temptation.

Maybe this time it will be different, because this time it is different. My wife retired last Tuesday, and now she is on vacation for the rest of her life.

I have been on vacation for the last five years, and have not behaved myself at all, but maybe she can.

So on the day we left, we got up early – then began to dawdle. We wanted to be on the road by 9:00 am, but there were flowers to move to her mother’s and an errand to run – and of course, we couldn’t find that thing we wanted to bring along.

But finally, we managed to get on the road.

At the first gas stop, as I fueled the camper, she went inside and didn’t dawdle at all; within minutes we were back on the road.

A few miles later…

“Uh….” I asked, “what are you doing?” I had to ask, because she had her purse on her lap and was sneaking snacks out of it.

“None of your business.”

“C’mon, fess up. It’s not like I’m blind.”

“If you must know, I’m eating peanut butter M&M’s.”

She knows I hate peanut butter and always buys them when she does not want to share.

“Let’s see.”

She showed me the bag.

“You bought the shareable size, but you knew you were not going to share. I thought we were going to eat healthy.”

“That’s why I said, none of your business.”

We drove on. In time, we passed the Mason-Dixon Line.

“OMG,” I shouted, “WAFFLE HOUSE!! I love Waffle House. Pull in, I am getting pecan waffles.”

“Not going to do it,” she said, “you wanted to eat healthy, so you’re going to eat healthy. I know you, you will order a side of sausage, grits and hash-browns and then you will complain your stomach hurts.”

“You got your M&M’s; so I get my Waffle House.”

“Wait a minute…..”

“What?”

BIG LOTS!

“You’re kidding. What do we need there?”

“Trays to organize our stuff.”

“If you go in there, you will dawdle for hours.”

“Hey.”

“What?”

“We got all the time in the world. We are on vacation.”

**Note: since we are on vacation, my posting and commenting will be light. We are planning to be home in early June… maybe.

Here are some photos.

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Author: Almost Iowa

www.almostiowa.com

49 thoughts on “On Vacation”

  1. retirement vacation!
    cant wait for it!
    your wifes smart lady.
    i too buy the sharing size but dont wanna share. πŸ˜‰

  2. Thanks for those pictures. I love that area of the country. Enjoy your vacation. I’ll make you a deal. You stop at Waffle House one day and I’ll have a salad for lunch to offset it. The universe will be in balance.

  3. Yay! Vacation!

    It’s been so long since I’ve been to the smokies! I grew up in the Blue Ridge of NC, so we did make it down to the smokies a few times. I enjoyed some of the rafting on the rivers down there.

    1. The park is fantastic but OMG, Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg look more like Las Vegas than the mountain town they once were. The traffic is horrendous.

  4. Congrats and here’s hoping you both have a marvelous time. I join the others in looking forward to future posts about the experience. πŸ™‚ We had a Class C once but I never could get up into the bed so we left that for the grandkids. Besides how does one get down from there in the middle of the night to use the facilities without a face plant. Oh, I’m really looking forward to future posts. πŸ™‚

    1. This one has a real nice setup. There are two twin beds in the back with an aisle in between. No climbing, no foldout, no murphy bed. It is very comfortable.

      As for future posts….

      “What are you writing about?”
      “You.”
      “Do you want me to give you something to write about?”
      “Sure!”
      “Think again…”

      1. Okay, I think ‘we’ need photos. This sounds like a really nice setup, but now I’m wondering what is above the driving area. Entertainment center? When we had our ‘C’, the grandkids slept above the driving area, I got the table (hard as a table), and the hubby got the fold out couch. I’m liking your situation a lot better. Looking forward to future posts. Travel safely. πŸ™‚

  5. I met a couple who rented a small motor home, to trial the life before buying one.
    Two weeks into the trip, he said so far, neither had been left on the side of the road😁
    Another couple said their travel took them from one country bakery to the next, and their waistlines expanded.
    I love to be a fly on the wall, but guess Will have to wait for your priceless posts.
    Have a super great time!πŸ‘πŸŽˆ

  6. Retirement is for dawdling– which is what struggling hipsters and the mindfully conscious but not yet retired are yearning for. YOLO!
    And congratulations to your wife!!

      1. When you retire, you can spell any dam’ word any dam’ way you want to, cuz who’s gonna fire us, huh? So there!!

    1. First to the Smoky Mountains, see photos, then to Nashville. It is what my wife wanted. I wanted to travel around Lake Superior…..it is 40F up there now. Glad she is the one driving.

    1. I retired five years ago and have not regretted a single moment of it since. I loved what I did for a living and a few years before retirement, I couldn’t imaging retiring….then I got promoted. Ugh!

  7. When (not if) you stop at Waffle House, keep an eye on your beloved. I once watched an old geezer try to pick up my 80 year old mother at a Waffle House in Joplin, Missouri.

    1. She will have to keep an eye on me. All the waitresses call me “Honey”. She says, “it’s just a southern thing” but I know different. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

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