It was early morning and before heading out for a long day on the farm, I had a question.
“Have I told you lately that I love you?”
“Nope,” my wife said.
That’s when another question occurred to me…
“Hey, wait a minute, have you told me lately that you love me?”
“Nope,” she said.
I suppose fair is fair.
“How about a kiss instead?” I asked.
“Nope,” she said. This time she was adamant.
“Because you haven’t shaved.”
She was right. I needed a shave. I had been working long hours during harvest and was not willing to spend what little free time I had on grooming. Besides, I hate to shave and further more, what is the point when one is covered in grain dust all day?
But let’s get down to what is important here. Isn’t love supposed to be unconditional and doesn’t that cover shaving?
Or is it just something we tell ourselves?
Love is best served unconditionally because knowing we are flawed, we must be willing to accept the flaws of others. But there is a balance to these things and love is always bound by conditions. These are the guardrails of our relationships that cover everything from petty annoyances to issues of trust and it is utterly astonishing how little or how much some couples will tolerate.
I have an old buddy, Stan, whose honky-tonk lifestyle is something right out of a Johnny Horton song. The stuff he gets away with….
I once asked him, “How come Daphne hasn’t shot you yet?”
“Because,” he said, “unlike some people, I shave every day.”
“Gosh,” I said, “you mean if I were to shave regularly, I could get away with what you get away with?”
He cast a withering gaze in my direction, then said, “I wouldn’t try that if I were you.”
So I suppose everyone has their limits. He has broad latitude and I have a razor, so I trudged downstairs to my man bathroom and put it to use.
“That’s better,” she said when I came upstairs. “Now, you can kiss me.”
“Nope,” I said, just as adamantly as she said it to me.
“Are you just trying to get back at me?”
“Not at all,” I told her, “it’s your hair curlers. I can’t risk getting too close.”
61 thoughts on “Have I told you lately that I love you?”
Cute story. Most of us can relate. Your conflict is easily remedied.
My solution: I got a haircut that didn’t need rollers and my husband had to keep his beard neatly trimmed.
HAHAHA! Ah those hair curlers, even I hated them.
What’s the point of retiring if you can’t refrain from shaving every day? On the other hand, keeping your honey happy is a full time job…
My cheeks haven’t seen a razor since circa 2011 (I trim the beard, lest I want to look like Mullah Omar, but…). Don’t know if I could shave every day, have you got an idea of the productivity I’m gaining by not doing that!? That’s what I say to the Boss when she inquires about seeing me sheared in the not-too-distant future. Somehow it works.
Relationships are always conditional, no exceptions. If one wants unconditional love, you can always get it from a dog 😊
I discussed this with Scooter and he said, “try running that Big Box discount dogfood by me and see what kinda love you get.”
Hey, thanks. 🙂
My wife has adopted the hand chinstrap for when I don’t shave. Makes it tough for the lips to connect, but I guess she feels better about it.
I get the stiff arm if I move in too quick. 🙂
Well, I suppose those who want to be kissed should make sure they are kissable!
Well…. there is that – but then some of us are irresistible. 🙂 🙂 🙂
You’re back! And in fine form. Yes we do have to align our loving maneuvers between certain guardrails.
I’ve been pin-balling between those guardrails for years. Hope they hold up. 🙂
I’m curious to know more about this man bathroom. But, on reflection, maybe I don’t want to know!
A man-bathroom is the architectural equivalent to not shaving. Just say, “Ewwwww!”
My wife can be just as unreasonable. I mean, who has time to shave every day?
That’s what I’m say’n.
I was 75% sure this would end with more lyrics of the Rod Stewart song.
I’d have to pay royalties. 🙂
Love is a many-splendoured thing, well-shaven and without hair curlers.
I dunno. We love Scooter and the cats and rarely do they shave. On the other hand, they don’t use curlers, though Scooter wears a lot of the outdoors in his bushy tail. 🙂
I’m going to be moving, which means I’m sorting. I found the bag of curlers on a top shelf, at the back. I was going to throw them out, but I’m reconsidering. I’m not anticipating the need for defensive maneuvers, but you never know.
I would definitely keep them handy. There is something about curlers, an old housecoat and mumbling that keep pesky neighbors at bay.
Ha! Fair is fair…
Fair is fair… never works in marriage. Come to think of it, it never worked on the playground either. 🙂
I thought at the end there that you were going to tell the wife to shave (her legs). But curlers will do it too. A fun story about give and take, Greg. Stay warm and safe out there on the harvest.
That is in my arsenal of comebacks, but like anything nuclear, it best never used.
Probably a wise choice. Lol.
Hahaha! Nice to see another post from you! It’s getting so that whenever I see Stan’s name, I immediately start laughing before I’ve even read the rest of the story! 🙂 Better luck tomorrow hahaha.
It is nice to be posting again, we picked the last corn on Monday and everyone is catching up on their sleep. It has been a hard year: wet, cold and full of break-downs – but another year has passed.
That sounds very tough! I hope some rest is in your future!
I am not sure if I should shave or take out my rollers before I comment. Now that’s enough to make me pause and stop shaving. Of course I would have to be shaving to stop…
I say, go for the rollers first. 🙂 🙂
So, you shaved for no good reason? You’ll have to shave again for tomorrow’s kiss.
You would think a guy would only have to shave once a month.
I don’t mind beards, but I do require it cleared of food scraps before getting very close.
Do bees wings count? For those who do not know, bees wings are the tiny bits of chaff from the cob that fill the air during harvest.
You two….the original love bugs. What a hoot!
We do get along……(when she is not being mean to me, like insisting I shave) 🙂 🙂 🙂
For some reason, I have an urge to dig through my old J. Geils Band records…
Great to see you in my blog feed. Fun story, but hair curlers? My gracious, now that’s something I haven’t thought about in years.
Yes, hair curlers. I call them. her radar. 🙂
An ex’s plea to get back to me once was he would shave everyday. After he had dumped me whilst drunk that was not enough!
The promises of drunks, addicts and ex-cons rarely hold weight, though I have found those who stay sober and turn themselves around are often times the most trustworthy – but that is a long, long process.
Well, at least you’re in the same boat with Elvis:
Not quite in the same boat, I am better looking. 🙂
Geez, after all this time between posts I thought you were going to tell ‘us’ that you loved us. 🙂 Good to hear from you, and thank you for the chuckles. 🙂
Oh, you know I love you all – but then it never hurts to say so. 🙂
or later in the day. 🙂
Guess it really works both ways, doesn’t it? 😄
It does – but conditions apply.
and shaving. 🙂
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