Whoosh!
Flutter…
Flitter…
Rumble… rumble… bump..
“What the?”
I had hit the RV brakes hard and everything not battened down came flying toward the cab.
The thing is – on the road nothing should be free to take flight. Still, glossy flyers fluttered like leaves as slick pamphlets skidded across the carpet.
This was my wife’s fault. She is the one with a mania for tourist brochures. Every time we pull into an RV park or a tourist information center, she succumbs to the magnetism of the pamphlet rack and starts plucking.
Sometime I call her on it.
“A zipline? Really?”
She shrugs off my skepticism with, “You never know.”
This from a woman who avoids stairs.
“A gocart track?”
“I got that for you.”
“Then put it back.”
“Why?”
“Because there are people there.”
It is the essential difference between us. I travel to get away from crowds. It is why I convinced her to come to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
The UP is the nearest place to us that is far enough away, so no one goes there.
She is more sociable than I. Perhaps it is why she collects flyers. They remind her of places where people linger.
But that aside, all the material she had been gathering during our travels was now wedged between the brake pedal and the floor.
I almost blew my top.
I had warned her many times about leaving that stuff about and now my worst fears had been realized. The stuff was a hazard, and I was tempted to throw it all out on the highway.
But then I remembered my wife’s favorite film: The Long Long Trailer.
It is an old Lucy and Desi comedy about a couple who cross the country in their new travel trailer. The show is both fun and funny, the way only old films used to be – but this one was hitting a little too close to home. Luci’s character collects rocks as mementos of her travels.
In time, Desi fears the rocks are becoming too much and at the foot of a steep mountain pass, he tells her to lighten the load. Instead she hides them, and naturally her rocks do the same thing as my wife’s pamphlets. Desi blows his top, and it almost ends their marriage.
So I know not to do that – but wait!
I could account for the whoosh, flutter and flitter, but what about the rumble, rumble and bump?
Oh no!
Could it be?
Almost Iowa 
My husband and I are cracking up reading this on our road trip from Lake Powell back to Los Angeles! This is so well written-love the lunch line! Let’s just say I relate more to Lucy and your wife, and my husband relates more to you and Ricky! Great post!
Loved the build-up and the ending… left me wanting more
LOL!!!! Oh man that’s funny. It’s magnets for me, and I usually tuck them in my backpack so they don’t cause any trouble.
My wife likes to collect rocks too, but one of those borders on boulder. Lucky it was only “bump.”
yuppers. trolls. could it be Monday ?
I am a gatherer of shiny printed tourism promos also, much preferred to using my smartphone. And rocks, I’ll gather those two. If I ever traveled anywhere that rocks could be gathered. It sounds like you are both enjoying retirement in your own ways. And keeping the humor in life. Always appreciated.
This was terrific! I can’t imagine a better Lucy-esque trip. 😀
I collect pebbles and shells. He collects pamphlets. I get to batten everything down. Not quite sure how it always works that way.
hahahah . I am sorry but, hahahah! Pamphlets don’t hurt as much as rocks.
Ha! I’m from a long family line of rock collectors. They look great in the garden back home. 🙂 Thanks for the laugh and the photographic evidence!
I want to see the zip line pictures!
Great post 😊
I like your wife. I collect rocks, too.
Ditto what Susanne said.
Love Lucy, but I’ve never seen that movie. So does your wife collect rocks too?
Oh my goodness – The Long Long Trailer was my mom’s favorite movie, and I think I watched it many times growing up. I would be horrified if I opened the storage space on a camper and saw the rocks – I’d have a PTSD moment or something.
“TRAILER BRAKES FIRST, TRAILER BRAKES FIRST!!!”
Your travels sure do take you in some odd directions. Yet you survive to tell the tales. Stay safe, huh?
Too funny! We have a friend from the UP, he’s currently on a fishing trip there. Beautiful place…
I think Linda was referring to the Petoskey stones. You’ll be taking on more ballast there.
Sheeesh, agates were bad enough. 🙂
Wait’ll you get to Petoskey.
Petoskey? Why, that’s troll country. To the Yuppers (people who live in the upper peninsula) anyone who lives under the Mackinac Bridge is a troll. 🙂
Troll or no, Petoskey has the best rocks!
🙂
That is a great movie, so I have to go with her on that. Also, I love brochures. My family makes fun of me for it. So, it’s Greg 0, funny, imaginative, resourceful wife, 2.
Yup, that’s always the score. 🙂
I wish I coulda helped
I thought it was going to be that you hit something. Oh well, a close call is a better warning than an actual accident.
We dodged a few deer and a black bear (years ago) but this was a logging truck whose concept of physics, we could not argue with.
Fair enough, normally wise to concede the argument when a HGV is involved
No arguing with a logging truck. Close call.