My Buddy Stan called.
Given the late hour, I didn’t beat around the bush. “What do you want?”
“Who says I want anything?”
“You wouldn’t call if you didn’t want something.”
“Maybe I just wanted to talk.”
“About what?”
“Why does it have to be about something? Maybe it’s just about talking.”
“Okay then, talk.”
..
..
..
..
“Uh, Stan?”
“Yeah.”
“If you want to talk, talk.”
“But that’s not talking. That’s just me talking.”
“You mean you want to converse?”
“Yeah, that’s it.”
“Okay then, converse.”
“No, you got to do it too or it is just me talking.”
“But Stan, what do you think we are doing now?”
“Talking?”
“That’s right, we’re talking.”
As he hung up, I heard him yell across the house. “Okay Daphne, you said I had to talk to Greg and I did. Now are you happy?”
…
A few minute later, Daphne called.
“Thanks for talking to him, Greg, it really helps.”
“But we didn’t say anything,” I protested.
“You don’t really have to say anything to talk.”
..
..
Click
Almost Iowa 
Sounds like the phone call I get every now and then from my out-of-town sister. I answer the phone, she says, “Hey, this is Lea!” and from that moment on, the conversation is entirely in my court. And God forbid I shouldn’t especially feel like talking…..
The further one goes into the boonies, the more guys are happy just to stand in a circle after Church and say nuttin’ ! Start chatting and they know you’re from town! At least, that’s my experience!
You nailed that one, Bruce. Gathering outside church is a big part of rural social life.
Too many people talk without saying anything. Great clincher ending, Greg.
My wife always tells me that Alison Krauss’s “When You Say Nothing At All” is our song. [she thinks I yap too much about nothing] 🙂
Which proves texting will never replace talking.
OMG LOL 🙂
Daphne is as out there as Stan, eh? They make a good couple… today.
Daphne’s job is to rein in Stan – but like you suggest, she has to start from so far out.
Totally get it. Stan’s a good buddy. But Daphne is better.
Daphne spends a lot of time translating reality into Stanspeak.
‘reality into Stanspeak’–that is such a great phrase. And explains so much. Your posts are such a riot. Thanks for the laughs, Greg.
The scary thing is that I think I understand this 🙂
It is scary. It was frightening even to write.
What just happened?
Too funny.
Odd how that question keeps coming up around Stan.
Ha ha. Exactly!
Love this, lol
Hey thanks. 🙂
You’re welcome!
I get the mandatory mother-in-law calls, but Daphne’s gotta realize that guys don’t have minimum communication requirements. Poor Stan…
I don’t know about not having minimum communication requirements, though most guys keep it simple.
“Beer?”
“Sure.”
Word
I can understand the logic here. I need to mingle with people more.
Hanging out with Lucy and Bailey provides perfect insight into Stan and Daphne.
I think that’s why I mentioned the need to go into humankind. (not that I want to you understand.)
Especially nice that both Stan and Daphne appreciate you.
They make one appreciate the virtue of being unappreciated.
Even at Christmas time, sometimes the best of the presents is presence.
Whenever I get together with family for the holidays, I reflect on Robert Frost’s The Death of the Hired Man
and, you need new neighbors…………lol
We get a lot of neighbor turn over around here, but is mostly hogs, cattle and turkeys. 🙂
Right on! Well said! 🎄🎄🎄 Christine
It is good to talk, even if you don’t say anything.
Hahah!!! Poor Stan. He has more issues than he can handle. Maybe you should get him one of those creepy talking dolls. He could converse with it ’til the cows come home! Lol.
Love the phone. Takes me back to childhood, and that’s a long trip. You and Judy (NewEnglandGardenandThread) are on the same wave length today. I got a real kick out of this post. —-Ginger—-
Stan has his issues – but I think we all have a little bit of Stan in us.