My Ball Cap

zeimusu-Baseball-cap (1)My ball cap was missing from the peg in the entryway. There could be a number of reasons for this; some of them of my own making, some not.

So I called across the house, “Hey, did you throw my cap away again?”

My wife’s voice came back, “Why would I throw it away, that’s something YOU should do.”

She hates my cap and I understand why. It was a wonderful cap on the day I bought it but now it has become so faded and worn that a dishrag can boast more color and character.

“So where is it?” I asked.

“Check all the usual places,” she answered

So I checked the kitchen trash bin then the refuse cart in the garage. I checked in the office wastepaper basket and not finding it in any of those places I looked in the laundry room trash. That is where I found it.

“You threw my cap away again,” I yelled.

“I only put it where it belonged,” she yelled back.

Like I said, she hates my cap. She hate almost everything I love to wear.  She despises my favorite t-shirt.  She loathes the only jeans that fit me and is embarrassed by my best pair of tennis shoes.

I suppose she hates these things because she is jealous. She knows how much I love them and maybe she just doesn’t want to compete.

But I still love these things and it is not just liking, it truly is love. You see, the thing about love is not only do you become accustomed to what you love but what you love becomes accustomed to you. Whether it be old clothes or old lovers, what you love molds itself to you in the most intimate of ways.

That is what my cap and I have done. We have braved both bitter cold and ferocious winds. We have witnessed countless sunrises and sunsets and over time, in the course of all we have been through, we have worn ourselves into each other.

I wear it wherever I go.  Its color and logo says who I am.  Even people who do not know my name, know me by my cap. I am not who I am without it.

My wife wants to get rid of it because it is old and faded and in her view, it makes me look ridiculous. But I don’t give up on things that easily.

When I first saw that cap, I fell in love with it and like so many things, something new always promises impossible dreams. For a while these things deliver, but then something newer comes along and you become convinced that the dream you once held is not worth holding on to anymore – and you toss it away to take up a new one.

It is like we are constantly throwing away our dreams.

Well, I don’t do that. I stay with my dreams and if someone wants to throw them in the trash, I will dig them out.


Author: Almost Iowa

47 thoughts on “My Ball Cap”

  1. I wouldn’t mind my husband reusing old clothes, but I do mind all the old clothes that are never worn and just fill up closets and drawers and bins under the bed. Let it go, already! Of course, he could probably say the same about me.

  2. I love your sense of humour really enjoyed this little story about your cap! In our house it’s my husband that is always throwing away my stuff so I kind of related to this story about you wanting to treasure your old things and not throw them out! They have a history with you. I get that!

  3. Almost Iowa, you’ve given me a different look at what should stay in the closet or hung on a hook in my household! Sometimes it’s hard to get past the dingy, faded old t-shirt, hat, shoes, and “look” at the memories they hold! I promise, from now on….Thanks! Christine

  4. Paint clothes. I have a few pairs of sweat pants and tees that are covered with years of paint. My husband gets concerned when they get holes is rather unfortunate places and i still wear them, because he is thinking I will wear them out of the house. So far I haven’t — I know the holes well too. The sweats hold the memory of the paintings done in them — I know the colors! Good post.

    1. It is like wearing history…

      I could see how this might play out in our house.

      “OMG!! You can’t wear that sweatshirt!”
      “Why not?”
      “It has that horrible color we used on the hall. It’s embarrassing.”
      “What are doing?”
      “Hold still, I am going to paint over it.”

  5. “My wife wants to get rid of it because it is old and faded and her view, it makes me look ridiculous.”
    This sounds so very familiar 😉 , like a dialogue from my household!

  6. Only one cap? My husband is severely folically challenged so wears a cap if it’s cold, raining, or sunny. In my village there are several men called Alan (an age thing) and he is known as Alan the cap to differentiate him. Like you his cap is now part of who he is. Unlike you he has many of them in different colours so he carefully makes sure his hat of the day matches his clothes. It certainly helps me if we get separated in a crowd. Keep the cap, but perhaps some new ones too. X

  7. I think all women see their husbands as dolls that need to be dressed according to the wife’s tastes. I have fought numerous battles like yours, some wins and some losses. I miss some of my old stuff….

  8. Don’t get me going on caps… When I noticed my husband was wearing a cap from his work place while we were on a get-away, I chastised him. I did not want to be visually reminded of work. Even if it was his. I have been known to toss a few caps, with permission, of course (mostly).

    But you are right. New is not always better.

  9. “New things always promise impossible dreams and for a while they deliver but then along comes something newer and you become convinced that the dream you once held is not worth having anymore – that you should toss it away and take up a new one.
    It is like we are constantly throwing away our dreams.
    Well, I don’t do that. I stay with my dreams and if someone wants to throw them in the trash, I’ll dig them out.”

    That, my friend, is wisdom of the ages.

  10. My wife is prone to wearing my favourite jumper! Normally it doesn’t really matter – just irks me a little. Yet this very afternoon I spotted her in it along with a paint brush and masonry paint tub out painting the garden wall a debatable shade of white. Furthermore my jumper – had it for years – was covered. Her riposte…’buy a new one for this is so old it’s falling apart’.

    1. ’buy a new one for this is so old it’s falling apart’.

      I’d tack this way, “Oh but my dear, your old one is just starting to show character. A few more decades and…

      1. Overnight and having quite forgotten yesterday in it’s entirety you will understand I rather chuckled at reading your comment above! As in….’her old what!’ I shall have to show her this thread!

    1. “a ratty t-shirt I bought on our honeymoon cruise”

      Our ancestors believed that things like that had power – and they were right. It is not so much the power of the thing, as it is the power of memory. Never lose that.

    1. Oh yeah, I had a pair of steel toed Redwing work boots that I wore in the steel foundry. Wonderful boots. I walked the worst streets without fear in those s$%t kickers.

  11. My husband is known by his knitted orange hat. He has a thin one and a thick one, worn depending on weather, but he’s so rarely without them people don’t recognize him when he’s sans hat. (And for the record, I’ve been known to sneak them into the washer but I wouldn’t dream of throwing either of them away. They’re his signature and his bankies.

    1. I’ve been known to sneak them into the washer

      OMG! [Holding up silver stakes in the shape of a cross] Banish thee evil one!! 🙂

      My wife tried that once. It was her first attempt to do away with my cap. 🙂

  12. My husband’s boss is always on hubby’s case about his dirty old baseball cap. He keeps giving him other clean caps to wear but they don’t mean anything to him and he refuses to wear them.

    1. I am with him. A clean cap is a blank slate, full of possibilities but it just won’t do. Not that there is anything wrong with new possibility….but at a certain point, history is just more interesting.

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