The World’s First Boy Meets Girl Story

Adam and EveEVE: Hey, you want an apple?

ADAM: No way.

EVE: Oh go ahead, take it.

ADAM: It’s gross; you already bit into it.

EVE: Chew on the good side, silly.

ADAM: Besides we’re not supposed to raid the apple tree.

EVE: Can I be totally honest with you?

ADAM: Sure?

EVE: I really messed up.  I got talking to a snake and one thing led to another and now I am going to get expelled.

ADAM: It’s what you get for hanging out with a bad crowd.  You see me talking to snakes?

EVE: Is that all you can say?

ADAM: Okay, I am sorry to hear you’re getting kicked out.  I’ll miss you.

EVE: I’ll miss you too – but can you handle being alone again?

ADAM: What? You want me to get expelled with you.

EVE: Yes, bite the apple.

ADAM: Why would I do that?  I like this place.

EVE: It looks like you got two choices, buddy boy.  Either spend eternity alone in paradise or leave with me.

ADAM: I won’t be alone; I’ll have the birds, the bees and the trees.

EVE: Oh, I got something better.

ADAM: What’s that?

EVE: (wink) Ask the birds and the bees.


Author: Almost Iowa

14 thoughts on “The World’s First Boy Meets Girl Story”

  1. Adam: I think I need a divorce.
    Eve: That will make two, you know.
    Adam: Next time God can use my big toe.
    Eve: She’s going to be a smelly broad.
    Adam: What do you mean?
    Eve: Have you got a good smell of your feet?
    Adam: At least, she won’t be trying to get me into trouble with the Big Guy.
    Eve: All I thought was we could have a little fun. Life on the edge.
    Adam: You’re just like Lilith. She wanted me to get kicked out of the Garden of Eden too. I mean this place has everything. A spa. Gourmet food. And have you tasted the ice cream? I mean, we leave here, we are going to be putting on some serious weight. You want to leave this place? No way.
    Eve: But just think what you can do with apples. I make a mean apple streudel.
    Adam: I sure hope that big toe girl can cook.
    Eve: You don’t like my cooking. You told me I was a great cook. Why didn’t you tell me?
    Adam: I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Last time I said something negative, I didn’t get sex for six weeks. And those aren’t regular weeks. They’re Eden weeks. That was one hell of a dry spell.
    Eve: That’s cause you told me that my boobs were sagging and my butt was a little too large.
    Adam: Well, you asked.
    Eve: Well, apple or no apple, I’m out of here. I hope big toe makes you happy.
    Adam: I’m sorry. I don’t want a divorce.
    Eve (hands Adam an apple): Prove it. Eat.
    Adam takes a big bite.
    Adam: This is pretty good stuff.
    Adam takes another bite.
    Suddenly the clouds show up and block the sun.
    From the heavens, a Voice: Adam?
    Adam: Yes, Lord.
    Voice: How long can you tread water, Adam?
    Adam: What?
    Voice: Oops. Sorry. Wrong guy.

    1. Guys are so easy.

      At first I wrote this story another, more romantic way. In that version Adam gives up paradise because he did want Eve to be alone.

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