The World’s First Boy Meets Girl Story

Adam and EveEVE: Hey, you want an apple?

ADAM: No way.

EVE: Oh go ahead, take it.

ADAM: It’s gross; you already bit into it.

EVE: Chew on the good side, silly.

ADAM: Besides we’re not supposed to raid the apple tree.

EVE: Can I be totally honest with you?

ADAM: Sure?

EVE: I really messed up.  I got talking to a snake and one thing led to another and now I am going to get expelled.

ADAM: It’s what you get for hanging out with a bad crowd.  You see me talking to snakes?

EVE: Is that all you can say?

ADAM: Okay, I am sorry to hear you’re getting kicked out.  I’ll miss you.

EVE: I’ll miss you too – but can you handle being alone again?

ADAM: What? You want me to get expelled with you.

EVE: Yes, bite the apple.

ADAM: Why would I do that?  I like this place.

EVE: It looks like you got two choices, buddy boy.  Either spend eternity alone in paradise or leave with me.

ADAM: I won’t be alone; I’ll have the birds, the bees and the trees.

EVE: Oh, I got something better.

ADAM: What’s that?

EVE: (wink) Ask the birds and the bees.


Author: Almost Iowa

14 thoughts on “The World’s First Boy Meets Girl Story”

  1. Adam: I think I need a divorce.
    Eve: That will make two, you know.
    Adam: Next time God can use my big toe.
    Eve: She’s going to be a smelly broad.
    Adam: What do you mean?
    Eve: Have you got a good smell of your feet?
    Adam: At least, she won’t be trying to get me into trouble with the Big Guy.
    Eve: All I thought was we could have a little fun. Life on the edge.
    Adam: You’re just like Lilith. She wanted me to get kicked out of the Garden of Eden too. I mean this place has everything. A spa. Gourmet food. And have you tasted the ice cream? I mean, we leave here, we are going to be putting on some serious weight. You want to leave this place? No way.
    Eve: But just think what you can do with apples. I make a mean apple streudel.
    Adam: I sure hope that big toe girl can cook.
    Eve: You don’t like my cooking. You told me I was a great cook. Why didn’t you tell me?
    Adam: I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Last time I said something negative, I didn’t get sex for six weeks. And those aren’t regular weeks. They’re Eden weeks. That was one hell of a dry spell.
    Eve: That’s cause you told me that my boobs were sagging and my butt was a little too large.
    Adam: Well, you asked.
    Eve: Well, apple or no apple, I’m out of here. I hope big toe makes you happy.
    Adam: I’m sorry. I don’t want a divorce.
    Eve (hands Adam an apple): Prove it. Eat.
    Adam takes a big bite.
    Adam: This is pretty good stuff.
    Adam takes another bite.
    Suddenly the clouds show up and block the sun.
    From the heavens, a Voice: Adam?
    Adam: Yes, Lord.
    Voice: How long can you tread water, Adam?
    Adam: What?
    Voice: Oops. Sorry. Wrong guy.

    1. Guys are so easy.

      At first I wrote this story another, more romantic way. In that version Adam gives up paradise because he did want Eve to be alone.

      1. There’s no way it was an apple. But ADAM didn’t want to be alone. After all, he gave up a rib for Eve. Guys are easy? HA!

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