Tag: waitress

The woman in the next booth hissed at her husband, “Did she just call you honey?”

“It’s the Waffle House,” he explained, “it’s what the waitresses do.”

“Why are we here?” she asked.

“You can’t visit the south and not eat at a Waffle House,” he said. “Try the pecan waffles, you will love them.”

“I don’t eat waffles,” she said.

That much was obvious. She was uncomfortably thin and dressed to show it. She wore a tight black skirt,  black sweater and the blackness of her hair could only come from chemistry. Perhaps her thinness had something to do with her attitude, it put her nerves too close to the surface.

“Then order something else,” he said.

She flicked the menu card over. “There is NOTHING here I would eat.”

“Then order eggs,” he said, “I know you eat eggs.”

“She didn’t call me honey,” she said.

The guy just stared at her. He knew what was coming.

“She is flirting with you, isn’t she? And you are letting her do it.”

“It is all in good fun,” he explained.

The waitress strolled by with a pot of coffee and topped off his mug. “Are we ready to order?” she asked.

“No!” the woman said.

The waitress moved on.

“Excuse me,” the woman called after her “I’d like another glass of water….. Please!!”

“Sure, be right with you, Sugar.”

“Did you hear that?” the woman said.

“What?”

“She called me sugar!”

“See!” the guy said, “they call everyone either honey or sugar.”

“No!” she said, “She called YOU honey and ME sugar.”

“What’s wrong that?”

“Sugar is what you call a child, not a grown woman. It’s a put down.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because she is flirting with you.”

The guy groaned and put his face in his hands. “Sure,” he said through his palms, “she’s buttering me up because she knows I am the one who will be paying the bill and leaving her a tip.”

“WHAT?” the woman said. “That is the most sexist thing I ever heard.”

“But it’s true.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Okay, you pay.”

“I can’t. I don’t have my purse.”

“You don’t think she noticed?”

“Okay, lend me a $20 and I will pay.”

“No way.”

“Why not?”

“Because you will stiff her.”

“She deserves to be stiffed.”

“Why? For flirting?”

“YES!!”

“She works for tips.”

“You mean she flirts for tips. You don’t find that sleazy?”

“Not as sleazy as stiffing a hard-working waitress.”

“She’s using sex for favors.”

“You mean like you do?”

“WHAT!!??”

“Like the way you always ‘forget’ your purse?”

With that, the woman rose in a huff and stomped out the door and within the beat of a heart, the waitress was beside the table, “More coffee, honey?”

“Sure darling, fill ‘er up,” he said.