On Vacation

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“This time,” my wife told me, “we are going to behave ourselves.”

She was talking about our camping trip.

“On the road, we are going to get up early, not dawdle and eat healthy.”

I nodded in agreement, because how could I disagree?  But agreement is perfectly compatible with harboring doubts. We always tell ourselves we will behave, at least until the first temptation.

Maybe this time it will be different, because this time it is different. My wife retired last Tuesday, and now she is on vacation for the rest of her life.

I have been on vacation for the last five years, and have not behaved at all, but maybe she can.

So on the day we left, we got up early – then began to dawdle. We wanted to be on the road by 9:00 am, but there were flowers to move to her mother’s and an errand to run – and of course, we couldn’t find that thing we wanted to bring along.

But we finally managed to get on the road.

At the first gas stop, as I fueled the camper, she went inside and didn’t dawdle at all; within minutes we were back on the road.

A few miles later…

“Uh….” I asked, “what are you doing?” I had to ask, because she had her purse on her lap and was sneaking snacks out of it.

“None of your business.”

“C’mon, fess up. It’s not like I’m blind.”

“If you must know, I’m eating peanut butter M&M’s.”

She knows I hate peanut butter and always buys them when she does not want to share.

“Let’s see.”

She showed me the bag.

“You bought the shareable size, but you knew you were not going to share. I thought we were going to eat healthy.”

“That’s why I said, none of your business.”

We drove on. In time, we passed the Mason-Dixon Line.

“OMG,” I shouted, “WAFFLE HOUSE!! I love Waffle House. Pull in, I am getting pecan waffles.”

“Not going to do it,” she said, “you wanted to eat healthy, so you’re going to eat healthy. I know you, you will order a side of sausage, grits and hash-browns and then you will complain your stomach hurts.”

“You got your M&M’s; so I get my Waffle House.”

“Wait a minute…..”

“What?”

BIG LOTS!

“You’re kidding. What do we need there?”

“Trays to organize our stuff.”

“If you go in there, you will dawdle for hours.”

“Hey.”

“What?”

“We got all the time in the world. We are on vacation.”

**Note: since we are on vacation, my posting and commenting will be light. We are planning to be home in early June… maybe.

Here are some photos.

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