I have nothing to do.
Sure, there are things that need to be done, yet still I have nothing to do.
I could string up the outside Christmas lights, but it is 12°F and snowing. Two days ago, it was 65°F and the sun was shining, but I couldn’t think of anything to do then, so the lights remained buried at the bottom of their tub somewhere in the garage.
Now it is too cold.
Speaking of the garage, my wife wants me to rearrange the shelves to make room for more stuff.
The last thing we need is more stuff, so I let that chore slide.
I could clean the gutters of leaves and twigs, but again it is too cold and wet for that.
Maybe next spring.
Or the spring after that.
I could do something about the door in the second bedroom. It hits the wall when swung too wide – a situation that cries for a door-stop.
A simple fix.
Simpler still is to open the door carefully, that way I don’t have to do anything about it.
I spent much of the fall working on the farm and loading hogs for market, but harvest is complete and the pens are filled with young hogs, so they don’t have anything for me to do.
To be honest there are plenty of chores I could tend to and all of those things I will eventually get to, just not now.
This may seem like procrastination, it is, but it is something more.
I look at it this way, there are things that life asks of us and things we ask of life and so much of our time is consumed with the little things that life demands and so little time is allocated to our simple desires.
Like something to do.
I never thought of this in the past, because I was too busy. There were computer systems to design and endless 14 hour days on the farm to work during harvest. All of these things were so much more important than the Christmas lights, garage shelves, gutters, or a bathroom door that keeps punching divots into the sheetrock.
So I didn’t have to worry about the little stuff.
It is bad enough not having vital and interesting work to occupy my time, because it leaves me exposed to all the little things that reach out and say, “now, you belong to us”.
It is why I desperately need something to do.