My Muse’s Bad Day

My muse arrived late.

We had a writing session scheduled for 7:00 a.m. sharp but she didn’t wander in until well after noon.

Then she just flopped on the couch and sulked.

“What gives?” I asked her.

“Don’t start in on me,” she snapped.

I hate it when she gets in a mood. Usually, she is not like that. We mostly have fun together – but when things do not go well for her, she takes it out on our writing.

“Let’s begin,” I said, then suggested a topic. “How about making today a ‘Stan’ day?”

She frowned.

“How about a ‘My Wife’ day instead? We always have fun with that.”

Her frown only deepened.

“Or we could write about ‘My Stuff’?”

“Why don’t we write about my issues instead?” she said.

“Sure.”

“I am not into writing today.”

“Okay…..”

“WRITE THAT DOWN.”

Muse is not feeling like musing.

“What give you the right to tell me how I feel?”

Muse has a lousy attitude today.

“Hey,  I come in here day after day to give you material, no matter how I feel, and all you do is sit like a lump on a log and jot it all down. Maybe for once, I could have a bad day. Did you ever consider that?”

“Sure.”

“THEN WRITE IT DOWN.”

Muse having bad day.

“So what’s bothering you?”’

“MEN.”

“Anyone in particular?”

“Yes.”

“Who.”

“Each and every one of them.”

My muse hasn’t been the same since she broke up with the love of her life, Discipline, (who is also D. Wallace Peach’s muse).

She took the breakup hard, but she fell in with Creativity on the rebound.. For awhile there, the prose bubbled wildly from a well of infatuation – until Creativity went chasing after…

WHAT YOU DOING?

“I’m writing about you.”

“Who told you to do that?”

“You did, you said you wanted me to write about your issues.”

“You idiot, this is a fiction blog, you are supposed to write about me by not writing about ME.”

“Okay….”

My muse arrived at 7:00 a.m. sharp, brimming with enthusiasm.

“Now we are getting somewhere.”

Author: Almost Iowa

www.almostiowa.com

46 thoughts on “My Muse’s Bad Day”

  1. Now I know why some days I have such a hard time coming up with the subject of my blog post! Clearly, my muse is not in the mood…. Glad you and yours worked it out!

    1. Muses are fickle creatures. Sometime the topics and the words flow in torrents, other times, it is like Death Valley.

      Muse: Did you just say I was fickle?

      Oops, I gotta go.

  2. Sooo funny. See what happens? When we can’t come up with something to write, we just write about our muses. Thanks for the link, Greg, and the laugh. I needed it today. Happy Writing!

  3. You can schedule a session with your muse? Obviously, the schedule doesn’t count for much, since she was five hours late, but still… You’d better watch it. There are rumors Muses are becoming less amused by our expectations, and are thinking of unionizing.

  4. Ooooh yes, my muse has certainly had these days before! Sometimes I just have to give her some time off I guess! 🙂 (Although I think my muse might be a dude.)

  5. The muse artist relationship is a lot like that of any other professional. There is an ethical vow of silence except for those items released to the press secretary by both parties. And the muse as said title implies reserves the right to withdraw said items from release as the mood requires. This also covers a muse sing events… and mime time too…

    1. My muse kicked the nicotine habit years ago, but when she steps out and fails to return, I check the garage and find her head buried in the bucket of chocolate chip ice cream that we keep out there in the freezer.

  6. You named your muse? Aren’t you clever. I’ve never thought to do that– and I’m the woman who names her computers and phones and other machines. Clearly my muse deserves a name, too.

    1. It’s a riddle. I have been best buddies with Stan for sixty years, despite his dishonest, unreliable, treacherous and lazy nature, yet I have trouble getting along with an honest, reliable, loyal and hardworking spouse. So what gives?

      [Muse: the answer to that one is obvious]

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