If you believe that Moving Day is the day you move from one place to another, you are only partially correct. The more complete meaning of the term is the first time in years any of your stuff has been moved.
I recently sold a condo, one so small that the instant you set something down, it stayed there. There was no other place to put it.
So on moving day I discovered the consequences of things remaining stationary for a decade. You not only find things you never thought were there but you find things you never thought could be there.
When my wife and I lifted the couch, we solved one of the greatest mystery of modern life: where the socks go.
You might expect to find missing socks snuggled behind a washer or dryer but laundry room socks only account for half the lost socks in the known universe. The other half, like dark matter, hides in unsuspected places – like under the couch.
We solved another mystery too, one that has plagued our marriage since the beginning. You see, whenever I nuke a bag of popcorn, my wife always demands a tax.
“Pour a little in a small bowl for me,” she says.
I always complain. I tell her it is unjust to suffer all the anticipation of a full bag of popcorn, only to surrender a sizable portion of it.
She says I exaggerate.
I insist I do not.
Now as we glance under the couch, we are both shocked to learn that the under-the-couch-tax is far greater than the one I pay her. It was humiliating.
But not all our moving Moving Day experiences were bad.
When I tilted my easy chair onto the two-wheeled cart, I discovered change, lots and lots of it. I found more silver than the Comstock Lode and a vein of copper, so rich and so deep it will revive the state’s mining industry for decades to come. There was so much change under there, I couldn’t understand how we kept afloat financially all these years.
Then there were the pencils.
Hundreds of them. Under everything. The odd thing is, we don’t use pencils. The last time I purchased a pencil was before the advent of the personal computer.
I suspect the cats.
I had seen them batting something around the hardwood floor but had no idea they had pencils or where the pencils came from. Perhaps the cats got them from the neighbors, but that cannot be – because our cats are inside cats.
So we piled everything into a rental truck and drove to Almost Iowa where we unloaded the couch, the easy chair and all the other stuff.
No sooner had I shuffled everything into place then my wife put a finger to her chin, tilted her head and thought a bit.
“Move the couch here and put the easy chair there”, she said.
So I pick up one edge of the couch and what did I find? A sock, a kernel of popcorn, a penny and a pencil laying under it.
18 thoughts on “Moving Day”
Wonder what you found in the litter box.
Your cats have been using the pencils? Could they teach mine to write? I’ve been trying, but they insist cats don’t do that.
that was good! and yeah, when did the vacuum break?
I prefer not to vacuum. it upsets the mice.
The other day, in the process of moving, I went through the junk drawer and left a pile for my husband to sort through. He dutifully scratched through, until he found a pen made from an exceptionally large caliber bullet.
“It’s the space pen I got you last year for Christmas…that I guess you promptly threw in the junk drawer and forgot about.”
“Oh. Ummm…well it’s cool now!”
That would be cool. I think I will get myself one for Christmas.
We hoard pencils like a Tricondaroga factory. Funny stuff
Pencils are very cool but when I explain to my grandkids what they are used for, they get very confused.
Um…when did your vacuum break?
To vacuum under the chair requires that I move it and if I move it…… It’s better ignore problems like that.
And the truth is discovered unhappily like the three-month-old sandwich meat on the last shelf of the fridge.
Here is some moving music that I thought would motivate you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_KtQ1BqfHM
My chair is a popcorn magnet. I HAVE to vacuum it up or the chair starts tilting in the piled up kernals! But I like the idea of sending that to Washington DC to pay my taxes 😊
I found if you flop down in the chair really hard, it flattens whatever finds it’s way under it. The cats learned that lesson long ago.
Perfect punch line! And a delightful post. Oh, and my husband has to pay popcorn tax too. It’s in the fine print of marriage vows.
I tried to add a clause into our marriage vows about not having to clean the litterbox. it didn’t fly.
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