“I really liked that girl!”

psychoA buddy came by just before the late-news last night. Guys from the old neighborhood are like that. They just drop in. We all grew up in big Catholic families so no one really understands the idea of privacy.

Obviously he wanted to talk.

“I thought you had a date,” I told him.

“Yeah,” he said, “but she got detained.”

“Sorry to hear that,” I said.

“And I never bail out a girl on the first date.”

It seemed like a sensible policy to me. This represented real progress for Stan. But knowing the kind of women he dated, I tried to reassure him by saying, “It probably happens to her a lot and she won’t hold it against you.”

That boosted his spirits.

“It’s too bad,” he said, “because I really liked that girl. I even took her to a nice place.”

He must have read my mind.  What he and I consider nice are not the same thing – so he told me the name of the place and I was impressed. It really was nice.

“So what happened?” I asked.

“She was pounding shots all evening. You know, to get herself in the mood…”

I nodded in agreement. Not that I agreed with a girl pounding shots – but with Stan, you nod to keep the flow going.

“After leaving the club, we found that one of her car windows was smashed.”

I nodded again.

“Was anything taken?” I asked.

“Like yeah,” he said, “her camera, her iPad and God knows what else.”

“So what does this have to do with her being detained?”

“She called the cops to report the break in and…”


“She called the cops a few other things too.”

“I think I am getting the picture,” I told him.

“She took her frustration out on the cop who showed up by saying a few things she shouldn’t.  She accused him of eating doughnuts while her car was being broken into.”


“and then she kept getting madder and madder, until she shoved him. Like hard. She went all whirling dervish on him, pushing him around and slapping at him. She even took off her shoe to beat him – but I stopped her.”

“That’s when he arrested her.”

“Nope…the cop had the patience of a saint.”

Stan’s phone buzzed and he paused his story to tap out a text. Guys from the old neighborhood are like that too. If you can’t get their attention, just text them.

He looked up from his phone. “Like I said, the cop seemed really cool. He calmed her down, took her report and talked to her about making an insurance claim .”

“So when did she get arrested?”

“As soon as she put her keys in the ignition to drive away. That’s when he nailed her for DUI. The whole time she was swearing at him, he was planning what he was going to do.”

“Well, maybe she’ll have time to think about it in the slammer, huh?”

“Nope, that text was from her. I gave her your address. She’s free and coming over.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“You are welcome,” Stan said, “I really like this girl. I think she’s the one.” Then he added, almost as an after-thought, “Gosh, I hope she’s calmed down.”

Author: Almost Iowa


13 thoughts on ““I really liked that girl!””

    1. Okay, but before I do, know that Stan has issues.

      Would you please enumerate yours so that I can discuss them with Stan, he is wary about issues that conflict. It usually results in him serving time. Not that he is abusive or anything, the guy is really a sweetheart – but he suffers poor impulse control.

    1. It sure is true.

      My favorite Stan story date from when I was working for the MPD. I was walking through city hall with the Chief, a Deputy-Chief and my Lieutenant; all dressed in civilian clothes.

      We ran into Stan. He had just been released from jail for domestic violence against his girl friend. (guess who that was?).

      As we stood there… he recounted what a raw-deal he got in jail and from (guess who) and from life in general. No one said a word.

      Afterwards, I thought an apology might be in order – but none was necessary. Knowing people like Stan comes with the turf.

  1. But now I feel all guiltified, because I will, most likely, not be Following you back because I am OCD about reading every single post of everyone I Follow and I am drowning now in stuff I feel obligated to read

    No problem. I am just like you, though I follow blogs I want to make note of.

  2. Well. Interesting. I had actually read this long ago. This is, apparently, my SECOND time visiting your blog, and, for some reason, I didn’t “Like” this post on my first visit, even though I did like it, nor visit any other posts of yours. I assume I was interrupted by a phone call, or by falling asleep–literally–and then afterward entirely forgot about what I had been doing. Glad to be back.

    and: EEK! Just say that you “Followed” me! I mean: Thank you so much! I hope it’s because you read a post or two or three and liked them…

    But now I feel all guiltified, because I will, most likely, not be Following you back because I am OCD about reading every single post of everyone I Follow and I am drowning now in stuff I feel obligated to read–and, you may be able to tell, comment on. I would be happy to come back and read some more of your posts at some point when I am less buried in backlog (I haven’t posted for > five weeks, and am first trying to catch up on the posts of everyone I Follow, but getting sidetracked along the way–like by YOUR stuff ; ). If, after many weeks, you find you’d like more comments from, say, anyone, just poke me and I’ll come back and read some more of your posts : )

  3. Back when I worked for the Minneapolis Police Department, I was walking through City Hall with the chief, two deputy chiefs and my lieutenant. We were all wearing civilians clothes so it must have fooled an old friend who had just gotten out of jail.

    He felt compelled to tell us his story and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise until he incriminated himself. I then introduced him to my workmates.

    This story was for him.

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