Please Do Not Power Off or Unplug Your Machine

computer-laptopIt never fails.

You promised to cook dinner and now you are running late, really late.

As you rush to pack up your laptop and hurry out the door, you discover that Microsoft has something else in mind.

Yet another update.

“Please Do Not Power Off or Unplug Your Machine” your computer tells you.

What it does not say is “Or Else” but that is implied.

If you force a shutdown, all of the things you should have backed up will be lost and all the software that you should have kept track of will have to be repurchased and all the music and films you pirated…

Well, there is that.

Turning off your machine is not an option – but you tell yourself it will not take long.

It is just a windows update.

So you wait.

After a long pause, the screen reads, Update 1 of 11.

Not so bad….. only 11 updates.

By update #2, you have missed dinner.

By update #3, the yogurt in your refrigerator has expired.

By update #4, your driver’s license renewal is past due.

By update #5, your children retire.

By update #6, the national debt is paid-off.

By update #7, the Second Coming has come and gone.

By update #8, the Third Coming is long forgotten.

By update #9, a new geological age has arrived.

By update #10, the planets have spent their orbits and crash one after the other into the sun.

By update #11, an astronomer on a lonely planet in a distant galaxy peers across the universe to observe the death of the Milky-Way. He opens his laptop to inform his wife that he fully intends to cook dinner like he promised but Windows has seized his machine and the screen reads:

“Please Do Not Power Off or Unplug Your Machine”